Hibernation

Hibernation

Darkness in the heart colored my soul for a season

Wrestling the battle within to try and find its reason.

A season for letting my heart feel such darkness and pain

                Knowing that all I needed was to find a cleansing rain.

Stepping outside today, I heard the birds with their chirping sing-song

                I allowed my inner darkness to break apart until it was completely gone.

I felt my own song starting to form – I sang it out strong and with delight

                Walking out of the darkness – all at once I was filled with a pure blinding light.

What we cannot control will bring us down deep - to the depths of despair

                When we realize the truth – keeping a tight hold is not the way to repair.

Letting go of the darkness, the worry, the pain that begins to grow inside

                The light that comes in to take over and joy remembers where it used to reside.

We need to come out of hibernation; out of the deep darkness we held oh so tight

                To wake with joy; to remember to see every day with its pure healing light.

Break free today from your personal hibernation and walk without a heavy heart

                Purge the darkness from your soul and let the light never again depart.

Seek love, joy and a thankful heart – allow your heart to beat with joy once again

                Find your cleansing rain – whatever that may be so light can erase every pain.

It's Too Late

It’s Too Late

As memories flood my mind, I had buried them deep 

down inside where they belong 

                You decided to reach out after all this time – 

but why did you wait so long?

It’s too late to tell me that you've been thinking of me, 

that I've been on your mind all along,

It’s too late to let me know that you've finally given up 

the person I said never did belong.

It's too late to wish our friendship didn't end the way it did – 

why didn't you try so long ago?

                It’s too late to cover the time that has passed 

and the pain that I felt when you let me go -

It’s too late to tell me that you should have listened to me, 

that I could have said ‘I told you so’.

                It’s too late to share that I had been right all along, 

that you shouldn't have let me go.  

It’s too late to want me to contact you and 

resume things 

as if nothing had hurt me to the core

                It’s too late to go back to what you 

and I used to know, 

that relationship is no more.

As memories flood my mind that I thought were 

fully laid to rest, 

the images that float by still

                Although you reached out, 

I realize that nothing has changed, 

and I doubt it ever will.

Where were you when I needed to pour out my heart and needed your shoulder to cry on,

My shoulder was always available for you – 

no matter how many times it was leaned upon.

Where were you when I needed to talk to you late into the darkened night?

                My ears were always available for you – 

even if it was until the early morning light.

Where were you when I needed you to make the first move, 

to actually ‘show up’ up for me –

                My feet were always taking me to your doorstep – I always went in person you see…

I realized after I walked away, it was too late for you and me - 

the many times you weren't there -

                Too many times you have let me down – 

too many times you simply were unaware.

It’s too late to pick up the broken pieces that I mended –

 piece by piece - all on my own,

                It’s too late for you to come in now and say 

that all we didn't say was overblown.

It’s too late to go backwards as well as forwards because 

there is no evidence of sorrow -

                I experienced so much during the time you were gone and 

I can’t create a new tomorrow.

It’s too late to want me back in your world again –

 to be the person you rely on time and again,

                I no longer want to pour myself out to the point of feeling 

so bereft and full of pain.

I wish you well in the life you choose going forward – 

Even though I won’t be there to see it unfold,

                It’s too late to find a place for me in your world – 

I really am doing better than I originally told.

I was able to mend the broken pieces of my heart –

 there are still cracks the light shines through,

                It’s too late to be back in your world in any way – 

those cracks will do just fine it’s true.

It’s too late – to change the past – 

to create a new beginning 

with your world mixed with mine,

                It’s too late to wonder 

what might have been – 

letting go is right – 

it’s finally time.