When The Past Calls

My past didn't actually call yesterday - 

it came knocking in a text.

I say 'the past' because it's been 2 years since I've seen this 

'friend'.

It was a long time friendship that was full of drama -

and the toxic levels weren't understood

until the ties were gone and I stood alone reflecting.

 

I've also grown during this time.

I'm the same 

and yet I'm not who she used to know.

I realized that my caring nature put me there -

my caring nature also made me stay 

for way too long.

You know when you meet someone that you 'connect' with and it all seems good - 

but as time wears on, 

you realize it's a 80/10 percent effort relationship - 

and you're putting in the 80% or more?  

That was the old me.

I took care of her and our friendship 
I made sure that when I saw danger -
I warned her. 
Time and again she didn't listen.
Time and again she went off the cliff -
who rescued her? 
I did.

My hubby and I dropped everything
many times.

When my world was dark 
and I needed someone to turn on the light
she either wasn't there
or I wasn't a priority.

This became a pattern. 
Eventually it was too much in the last cliff hanger.
I couldn't do it anymore.

At first when things went south - 

it wasn't even a fight with my friend - 

it was with a family member of hers.

 

That day I walked away though -

I waited.

I waited for a phone call.

I waited for a text message.

I waited for an email.

I waited for a Facebook message.

I waited for a knock on my door.

Eventually....I stopped waiting.

I knew the 'sorry' was never going to come.

I knew that 'closure' wasn't going to come.

I knew I'd never hear the knock on my door.

That took an act of responsibility -

that was never going to be acted upon.

Let Them Go!

Why did I wait so long?

I wanted the person to make the choice to contact me 

first.

I'd done all the contacting and work for so long,

I figured it was due time for the other party 

to make their move 

first. 

That move never came.

Then the 'I miss you' & 'You've been on my mind'

text comes -
 2 years later.
Two years too late.

I'm not that person anymore.

The person you broke - grew strong in your absence.

The person you hurt - healed.

The person you 'miss' isn't here anymore. 

You don't miss ME

You miss what I did for you.

So, when the past comes calling - 

depending on your situation -

you might do what I did.

Don't answer. 

It really has nothing new to say.

You no longer are the person they are seeking.

You are strong enough to say NO!

Delete the message 

Block the access

Purge the drama

Walk away with your head held high!