If you are alive,
there is going to be at time
that loss will come.
Friends, family, friends of family,
etc.
Grief isn't always about a death,
a leaving of this earth.
Grief can also come when relationships
fade -
both in families and friendships
I am not new to losing loved ones,
as I am sure you are not as well!
A dear friend told me today
that she had to learn through the
years,
People want to be HEARD
People want to be SEEN
They usually don't want you to tell
them your story
when they are telling you theirs!
That gave me a moment of pause.
I wasn't really heard growing up.
My mom didn't know quite how to supply
that deep need in me.
We didn't really communicate.
She communicated 'at' me –
but didn't really communicate ‘with’
me.
I then found in my husband
someone
who was always saying
'let's talk this out'
We passed that along in our parenting
When raising our son.
It is just how we worked things out!
that is my approach
even when friends
need to just be HEARD and SEEN
They did not need –
Nor even want
My ‘let’s talk about it’ or
or my solutions offered in an attempt
to 'fix'
whatever is going on in their lives.
about anything.
She knew me from a wee bean
when my mom was pregnant with me
at her wedding, 😊
And she was always there
no matter what
until my 59th year
She 'knew me' and 'saw me'.
She was like the mom
that I had always craved
Aunts are special in their own way!!
Zero disrespect to my own mom -
it was just different
& special with my aunt.
My aunt was just a constant in my life
She 'got me' like my mom never could.
and most of all....
she knew OF my life.
She had lived it either alongside me as my
Aunt,
Or in letters, phone calls,
and especially during our EPIC in person gab
sessions!!
We bounced back and forth with one
another
when life hit and we talked about it
and shared experiences
to show we related one to the other.
It was our ‘love language’
Since her passing last October,
I have had grief hit me in waves.
I have gone several days or weeks
without thinking about her.
My dear friend mentioned tonight while
we were talking
that she had insight to share.
She said I was grieving.
It isn't just about my aunt not being
on THIS earth
any longer and far from the normal,
there is just life stuff I am grieving
as well.
I didn't realize I was
in a grief process
Until it was spoken out
loud!
Grief can also be a ‘smack you down'
kind of thing as well –
You see it coming and recognize it for
what it is.
When you lost your spouse – it mattered
to you – it broke your heart
When you had to start over again – it
mattered to you – it broke your heart
When the friendship faded to nothing –
it mattered to you – it broke your heart
When a family member cut you out – it
mattered to you – it broke your heart
When your friend left this great green
earth – it mattered to you – it broke your heart
When you lost your child – it mattered to you – it broke your heart
When you lost your parent - it mattered to you - it broke your heart
Grief comes in different forms –
there is no rhyme or reason to it’s
timing -
Grief Matters!!
Grief breaks your heart!
Holding the hand of grief
I am reminded:
Memories will be even more special
The loss won’t be for forever –
I believe in the eternal ever after.
I believe our God is with us along the
way.
God is also holding tightly to us as
we grieve –
He catches our tears
He heals our hearts
Healing will eventually happen,
Grief will still visit here and there
–
A smell
A thought
A memory
A place
An object
A song
A movie
On and on – grief will continue to
show up.
Our broken hearts will eventually mend
We will never be quite the same!
A broken plate isn’t the same after
being broken either.
Shards will not fit right ever again –
There will be gaps where it was once
whole
Glue can mend the plate
Just as healing can heal our hearts
We are never quite 100% the same
either.
We build a beautiful mosaic from our
Grief
Grief is there
for a season or two
Grief is the process that we
handle life with
Grief is important!
So, as I have my own moments of Grief
I will be there for you
as well
I will try and not offer
a story
to share against yours
I will try and ‘see’ you
I will stand beside
you when you have to say goodbye
I will give the hug
when you just can’t hold it in any
more
I will ‘see’ you
I will support you
Why?
Because I too have loved and lost
Because I truly do understand
Because I love you as a friend
Most of all?
Because
GRIEF MATTERS!!!
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