Obligation and the road to Freedom

 How often have you been in a situation

 that you felt an 

obligation... 

                                                            to do something

to perform a service

to engage with a stranger

to fix something that you didn't break

to reach out to someone you're not close to

to be responsible for someone

 

Where freedom

was missing?

 When the obligation presented itself...

Was it something you truly wanted to do?

Was it for a person you truly cared for?

What was your attitude?

How did your heart feel?

Would taking care of your obligations

grant you a sense of freedom?

I am at a crossroads 

with a bit of an obligation myself.

It doesn't feel like

freedom will ever 

be a part of it either!

Unfortunately, I am needing to face 

my own attitude 

and 'feelings'!

Feelings 

of

"I don't want to" 

"Why is it always my responsibility?"

"Do I really need to go there now?"

"Why is this not more fun?"

"When have they ever seen what I do?"

Feelings of

The Past!

Yes, the feels

are getting all mixed up 

in my 'I don't want to' 

attitude and 

changing how I approach

the obligations & responsibilities before me.

Sometimes,

Just having validation from others...

That you have done it all right

That you are on the right path

That you aren't being gas-lit

That you have performed in the best interest

of another...

Can definitely 

help give you some 

welcomed 

Freedom in your mind.

There are also times that obligations are

from your past.

People from your past that hurt you 

over and over again.

Situations that were never resolved

change your attitude

The past colors your present actions

and definitely how you approach 

a situation!

To get from obligation to freedom:

You will have to...

Move past your hurt feelings

Move past your attitude

Move past the history

Move past the strife

Move past the feeling of obligation!

You cannot change the past

What was said

What was done

How things were approached.

However, 

leaving the past in the past - 

You CAN

Move forward 

to acknowledging your feelings

Move forward 

to changing your attitude

Move forward

allowing the past to stay...in the past!

Move forward

and approach it all from a

healed perspective!

Move forward

accepting the apology

that you are never going to get!

Freedom is a unique feeling -

Freedom is like a breath of fresh air after being closed in

Freedom is like grass that bends to the wind in a full meadow

It is a release from the expectation of failure you previously set before you

It is a release from the expectations of fixing something you didn't break

Freedom is also allowing yourself a bit of grace

Grace to change your attitude into thoughtfulness.

Instead of looking at a situation as an obligation

Take freedom a step further...

Obligation is now changed into an Opportunity

Obligation is now changed into a Privilege

Obligation is now changed into providing Grace

Obligation is now changed into reclaiming your heart

Obligation changes the past into a new future -

Giving an obligation a brand-new meaning

Obligation changes a responsibility into a choice

The choice of...experiencing total FREEDOM!

Freedom can bring Joy

when before, 

You would only see the pain!

Freedom changes your attitude to be more positive

you see the situation in a different light

Freedom changes the heart to be more caring

allowing you to experience the situation differently

Freedom changes responsibility into a privilege

one that you might not have had before

Freedom changes the course of the situation

and allowing you to focus on

tomorrow!

So, if you are facing an obligation

that is changing your attitude

that is changing your feelings

that is robbing you of freedom

that is robbing you of joy

Move from obligation to the road of freedom!

Many before you have experienced this path as well.

Maybe some of these thoughts will help you

to find the road from Obligation 

to freedom 

and reclaim your JOY!

Freedom 

to not expect that the

past is allowed to erase your Joy!

Freedom

to know you've done your best!

Freedom

to accept that some situations

will not be changed.

Not because you don't want it

maybe, because they won't accept it

or you!

Freedom

in knowing 

that you tried!

Freedom

to know that you can change your mindset

 and not worry about the outcome!

Be blessed!

balancinglifethejourney@gmail.com

DarleneBl©2025

REFLECTIONS

 

I love this picture showing how a reflection 

can be something quite different

 than what you would expect.

I have seen many lake reflection pictures

 that also show the shoreline 

a bit differently.

A ripple in the water will distort the picture -

 similar to life distorting 

our view of ourselves

and of others.

How often do we listen to another's voice

Instead of the knowledge 

of who we are inside,

Who we were created to be.

How often do we let a situation change us

Allowing the reflection to distort - 

Changing the reflection of our life?

How often do we take our mistakes

Wear them like heavy chains?

Although if we truly saw the real reflection

We would instead see those mistakes

as growth and as 

stepping stones?

How often do we judge another's choices 

That may be different from ours

Allowing our reflection of them 

to change

And not always in a positive light.

Reflections can be there for our growth

Reflections can be there for our protection

Reflections that distort may make us change

To become better

To become stronger

To become kinder

To become lighter

Reflecting on this last year is what 

gave me the thought for this post.

We can reflect on the past 

Sometimes it won't change the future

And sometimes, it changes us

Deep inside where it matters.

When we give grace to ourselves...

We are better able to extend grace to others.

When we give ourselves a chance...

We can grow stronger and better.

Don't be so hard on yourself

Every day we learn new things about ourselves 

Every day we learn about others

Learning new things about them as well

Every day 

we have growth 

to embrace

Every day 

we have changes 

that will change us

In the reflection of the mirror:

Know that everything will be okay!

Know that you are stronger than you know!

Know that the reflection can sometimes be distorted,

But we each can make it different if we try.

Believe in yourself,

Always!

And, lastly, 

As Pooh said:

Be Blessed!!

©DarleneBl 

Weeds and Procrastination

I WAS WORKING IN MY RAISED

FLOWER BED TODAY

CUTTING OUT THE WEEDS THAT 

WERE OVERTAKING MY IRIS PLANTS!

I HAD ALLOWED THE WEEDS TO GET OUT OF CONTROL

I KNEW THEY WERE GETTING BAD

I JUST IGNORED THEM

I MADE MORE WORK FOR MYSELF 

WITH MY PROCRASTINATION!

I HAVE ALSO BEEN WORKING ON MY YARD IN GENERAL

I ALLOWED ALL THE WEED AREAS

TO GET COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL

MAKING IT HARD TO GET THEM DONE AT ONCE

I FINALLY DECIDED THEY NEEDED TAKEN CARE OF

I MADE SO MUCH MORE WORK FOR MYSELF!

I HAD TO TAKE EACH AREA A LITTLE AT A TIME

A FEW MINUTES AT A TIME

SEVERAL DAYS HAD TO BE DEVOTED TO THE WORK!

IF I HAD CHOSEN TO KEEP UP ON THE WEEDS

I WOULD HAVE HAD LESS WORK TO TO

LESS TIME WOULD HAVE BEEN GIVEN TO THE TASK

IT DEFINITELY WOULD HAVE KEPT THINGS LOOKING NICER!

PROCRASTINATION IN LIFE IS LIKE WEEDS

YOU PUT OFF WHAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU

KNOWING IT WILL NOT TAKE MUCH TIME TO FIX 

YET, YOU STILL MAKE A 

CHOICE 

NOT TO TAKE CARE OF IT

 IN THE END 

THIS CHOICE, 

MAKES IT MORE TIME CONSUMING

HARDER TO RESOLVE

DEFINITELY MORE WORK!

 IF YOU HAD JUST TAKEN CARE OF IT

AS SOON AS YOU KNEW YOU HAD AN ISSUE

YOU WOULD HAVE MOVED ON 

TO MORE PLEASANT ACTIVITIES SOONER!

LIFE CHOICES ARE LIKE THE WEEDS

 IN MANY WAYS

SITUATIONS CAN GET OUT OF CONTROL

WHEN YOU DON'T ADDRESS THE ISSUES 

IMMEDIATELY...

RESENTMENT CAN GROW

ROOTS OF DISSENSION CAN DIG DEEPER

EVEN SMALL, SURFACE ISSUES

 CAN BECOME A MUCH LARGER PROBLEM 

WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO IGNORE

WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO AVOID

WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO PUT IT ASIDE.

PROCRASTINATION WILL ALLOW 

RESENTMENT TO GROW

THE ROOTS GETTING DEEPER AND DEEEPER 

SO WHEN YOU FINALLY ADDRESS THINGS...

IT TAKES LONGER TO WORK THROUGH

IT LEAVES BEHIND SEEDS OF DOUBT

THAT CAN RETURN LATER

TO START GROWING DEEP ROOTS ALL OVER AGAIN.

THINKING OF HOW THE ONCE OVERGROWN AREAS

LOOK SO MUCH BETTER ONCE I HAVE PUT IN THE WORK

I WAS THINKING THE SAME FOR 

OUR PROCRASTINATION IN LIFE SITUATIONS

RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE REBUILT

RESENTMENTS CAN BE AVOIDED

FRUSTRATIONS CAN BE KEPT LOW

COMMUNICATION CAN MAINTAIN A HEALTHY BALANCE

YOU FEEL BETTER

THE OTHER PERSON FEELS BETTER

LIFE CAN BE MUCH SMOOTHER

WHEN YOU DON'T AVOID

WHEN YOU DON'T PROCRASTINATE

WHEN YOU PUT IN THE WORK REGULARLY

WHEN YOU KEEP THE WEEDS OUT!

HOW CAN  YOU ENSURE THAT WEEDS DON'T GROW

IN YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

IN YOUR PERSONAL REALTIONSHIPS

AT YOUR WORK PLACE, 

WITH YOUR COWORKERS AND MANAGERS?

ACTIVELY ADDRESS ISSUES AS THEY ARISE

DON'T MAKE A CHOICE OF PROCRASTINATION

DON'T ALLOW 'WEEDS' TO GROW 

KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN 

WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG

ALWAYS TREAT ONE ANOTHER WITH 

RESPECT AND HONESTY

WORK TO BE OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS 

THAT WORK FOR BOTH PARTIES.

WILL THIS PROCESS ALWAYS BE 

A PRETTY ROSE GARDEN?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

IN LIFE - THERE WILL BE THORNS!

THERE WILL NEED TO BE WORK PUT IN

YOU WILL NEED TO BE ALERT!

THAT GOES FOR THE OTHER PARTY AS WELL

THEY ALSO HAVE TO BE WILLING TO WORK WITH YOU

THEY HAVE TO VALUE THE RELATIONSHIP

AS MUCH AS YOU DO FOR THE FLOW TO WORK!

I ENCOURAGE YOU TO CLEAR OUT THE WEEDS 

IN YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

IN YOU RELATIONSHIPS

IN YOUR WORK RELATIONSHIPS

IN YOUR FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS

EVEN A SMALL PLANT NEEDS SUPPORT

AND CARE SO IT CAN CONTINUE TO GROW!

YOU WILL FEEL THE BEAUTY IN THE WORK

LIKE HOW IT IS WITH 

A WELL-TENDED FLOWER GARDEN!

 

DON'T FORGET THE WATER

WATER 

IS THE LIFE-BLOOD OF GROWTH

THAT MEANS :

ATTENTION

CARE

INVESTED TIME

LOVE AND COMPASSION

EMPATHY

WHERE ARE THE WEEDS YOU NEED TO REMOVE?

WHERE DO YOU NEED TO ADD WATER TO?

IT IS SO WORTH THE EFFORT!

YOUR SOUL WILL SING

YOU WILL SMILE MORE

AND THE SUN WILL SHINE MORE OFTEN!

I HOPE THIS ENCOURAGES YOU 

NOT TO PROCRASTINATE

TO CHOOSE TO DO THE WORK

WATERING ALONG THE WAY

SO YOU CAN REAP ALL THE WONDERFUL BENEFITS!!

BLESSINGS!

DARLENEBL ©2024

 

 

Stay Steady

 

STAY STEADY

Life has a way of either propelling you along or stopping you in your tracks

This is something I think everyone battles at some point in their lives.

How do you stay steady...

When you lose a close friend...

When you lose a close family member...

When your house needs major work done...

When you have a career shift...

When things just put you into 'halt mode'...

Staying Steady is sometimes not an easy thing!!

It is not always a clear path or thought!

I have noticed a shift in my life in general lately...

The turning point was my last birthday. I turned 60 ❤️

I have shifted into the ' younger senior' portion of my life.

I don't necessarily look like a senior is why I say it is the younger senior portion 🤔

I also don't always feel like a senior!

I definitely forget many times that when I see 'older people'

I have to remind myself that I am now closer to being that person!

I have many varied friendships

All ages - all walks of life.

We enjoy one another's company 

Age is really only a number!

Age is just a state of mind!

Thankfully, I still move better than I should!

Staying Steady when you are a bit lost...

Is an experience everyone gets to have at least once, at any point in their existence while living in this crazy world.

How you deal with it depends on your support system...

How you deal with it also depends on your mental support system...

Staying steady when things change can be difficult and hard.

Staying steady can also mean you just embrace the changes, 

Looking forward to what is yet to come!

Life is ever changing - no matter what season you are in:

Children grow up and move out

Those children start living their own adult lives

They don't need you in quite the same way

You aren't really needed to kiss skinned knees

You aren't really needed to fix a crushed heart

You aren't really needed to be at their beck and call

However, You ARE needed to stay steady

You ARE needed to be there when they need advice

You ARE needed to be there when they want to know about family history

You ARE needed simply because you are YOU!

'Stay steady' is described in many ways:

It can be about your mental and emotional state...

Whether you are a rock or you are like the wind - always moving...

Staying Steady can also mean

Staying calm, even when your world is chaotic...

We are definitely living in uncertain times right now!

Staying Steady can really mean just not going with the crowd!

Staying steady is also something

that you might give to another 

who is really struggling!

I told a friend the other day that I was not prone to depression perse...

I do have some moments where I am sad - but they don't last for very long!

I have always been wired this way.

I listen to music that pulls me back.

I delve deeper into my faith and I recover my joy

I write a blog to uplift others (And myself)

I read a great book and laugh 😃  (And sometimes cry)

I just don't stay down long!

I absolutely have my moaning and groaning periods - that I snap out of fairly  quickly.

I have many people in my world - that snapping back or pulling themselves back into the positive side isn't easy or even possible.

I try to provide an ear to listen...

I try to have the shoulder to cry on...

I try to just be there...

I attempt to stay steady for them!

Some have life experiences that scar them forever...

Some have losses that continually hurt their hearts...

Some have a rough time with their depression and overall mental health...

Some just need someone who will stay steady...

Someone to count on...

Someone to lean on...

Someone to give light to their darkness...

Someone to hold them up when they are knocked down...

Someone to tell them that they are WORTHY!!

Because who really doesn't need that at low points in their lives?

Am I perfect in every way?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

 

I fall

I fail

I stumble

I grumble

I moan and whine

I lose sight of the beauty of life

If I fall, I stand back up!

When I fail, I try again!

When I stumble, I keep going!

When I grumble, I count my many, many blessings!

When I moan and whine  

I try to look for any silver linings.

When I lose sight of the beauty of life

I take a walk outside at sunset or when the stars are in a beautiful dark sky.

It isn't always a quick process!

It definitely isn't easy to stay steady -

especially during chaos!

I am definitely ready...

Are you?

Who can you encourage today?

Who can you lift up and share joys with?

Who needs a shoulder to cry on?

Who needs a listening ear with no judgements?

Who can you Stay Steady for?

Have a blessed week and remember...

                  Be Blessed! 💕

                 DarleneBl ©️2024

  

Snake in the Grass

 Snake in the grass!

This surprising guest was in our grass yesterday 

when hubby was getting in his car for work!

.

Of course, at first he thought it was a rattlesnake 

because bull snakes tend to mimic 

the actions and share similar markings.

Hubby quickly grabbed a broom and relocated 

the snake away from his car so he could leave.

It startled him - to say the least.

Seeing this guy made me think about 

the term 'snake in the grass'

We have all used the phrase at one time or another.

It's reserved for a shady person

It's used to warn others of your experiences

It's used to remind yourself not to repeat a situation

I have encountered a few snakes myself

literally and figuratively!

At first, the danger is unseen

At first, you are unaware

At first, you think you are safe 

At first, they hide their true intentions.

Many times, 

our human nature is to 'fix' others

Many times,

we ignore the signs and warnings

Many times, 

we think we can change them.

However - in the end

we usually are the ones getting bit.

A 'Snake in the grass'

personality type is someone

who appears friendly and likable 

on the surface, but has 

hidden agendas and will do anything to get 

what they want. 

A Narcissist comes to mind.

They usually manipulate and deceive

others to achieve their goals.

They'll often do deals under the table or swindle

you into something you can't get out of.   

The funny thing about all this?

You finally wake up and see this for what it is 

and suddenly YOU 

are made to seem the bad one.

Why?

Because you noticed the pattern

and you put a stop to it!

 

Well, isn't that just lovely?

Now, YOU need help?

Yes, that is usually how it will go.

That is why I try to avoid this personality.

It is truly a no-win situation!

There was a friendship I once had

It wasn't clear for some time that I was in a cycle

of this person hiding their true self

hiding that they were not who they seemed to be.

How do you get sucked in?

They say all the right things

They do all the right things

They seem to be there and it's a healthy relationship.

But then, suddenly there are cracks

There are signs

Some you see, some you ignore.

When I was out of this situation...

I truly saw it without blinders.

I was taking to a friend yesterday and I realized

that a certain situation is presenting itself

as not necessarily a narcissistic situation

However, it is definitely not healthy for me

So, again, I am walking away.

It is amazing once you cut ties

Once your eyes are truly open

You see things more clearly

You are thankful you walked!

Healthy relationships don't make you feel unseen

Healthy situations don't make you doubt yourself constantly

Healthy situations don't make you dread confrontations

Healthy relationships are IMPORTANT!

Are you dealing with a bad situation?

Are you seeing the narcissistic behavior?

Are you constantly proving yourself and never winning?

Sometimes, you have to just 

Walk away!

You can still care about someone 

and yes, even pray for them

but they don't always have to stay in your life.

Sometimes taking that walk is 

healthiest for you!

Is it easy? NO!

Is it necessary? Probably yes!

So, as we find ourselves walking away,

how do we protect ourselves?

It's not an easy task.

Especially for people who are called empaths!

Our whole personality is to want to help

We want to 'fix'

We want others to be okay

Usually - at the cost of our own health! 

So, How do we stay healthy?

Set boundaries!!

Step away for a bit

Truly look at the relationship or situation.

Is it salvageable?

Sometimes, 

We just have to let go 

And let God.

Rely on wisdom - rely on signs

Rely on truths

Rely on instinct.

Trust God - if that is what works for you.

But most of all....

be careful where you go.

Because,

Snakes will hide and before you see them,

You might get bitten!

Be Blessed!

©DarleneBl 2024

Balancing Life the Journey